Like a piece of art that no one can touch!
Like a piece of art that no one can touch!
Not pictured: more #wine :) (at Madame Wu)
We had #sake! Gold leaf included, and served at (an air-conditioned) room temperature. I’ll have to find the English name. #latergram (at Wagaya)
Phase 1 of #balcony makeover: #bamboo and yummy #plants :) thanks for the help, Mum! #greenthumb
Training your palate
This isn’t mine, but I thought I would share it because I have an anxiety disorder, and it might help people understand me a bit more, as pretty much all of this is true. Source has been lost unfortunately :(
Things we try to do all the time:
Things we can’t help but do all the time:
*self sabotage, usually unintentionally
*behave impulsively and reactively
*take everything personally
*blow things out of proportion
*have difficulty accepting compliments
*desire attention while also shying away from it
*have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
*have difficulty finding the courage to respond
*worry we’re a burden
*have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
*make a huge deal out of the smallest thing
*think we’re bothering you
Things you should keep in mind:
*we’re scared of everything
*pretty much all of the time
*anxiety is not an excuse-it’s an impairment
*it’s an actual disorder
*don’t take our neurosis personally
*seriously it’s not you, it’s us
*it manifests as impulsive behaviour
*we might fidget a lot, not because we’re not interested, but because we’re nervous and need to do something to get the energy out
*eye contact is often scary, it’s not your fault, but don’t fault us either
*you can’t fix us with words
*telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
*it’ll only make us feel silly
*and then we’ll worry even more
*“oh god, am I worrying too much? What if they call me silly again?”
*also, we wear a lot of armour
*cold, heavy, affection-proof armour with spikes
*we constructed this armour as children
*we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
*but there is a nice person under there, we promise
Things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
*ask what causes it; be ready for a long list
*ask if we are anxious; be ready for us to say yes
*we often are without specific cause
*ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
*be willing to change the place or situation if not
*we try to adapt to the world, but sometimes the world needs to adapt to us
*activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
*talk to them even when they might not talk back
(They’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
*try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
(The way they express themselves is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
(And they know this)
*don’t think we don’t trust you because we’re still anxious around you
*give them time to respond to you
*they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
*they will anticipate being judged
*it took me four hours just to type this much
*even though I sound casual
*that’s because I have an anxiety disorder
Things you shouldn’t do:
*tell us not to worry
*tell us, we’ll be fine
*we know that, it really doesn’t help with the thoughts of being crazy
*say “it’s easy” in reference to social situations
*say “just don’t think about it”
*tell us, it’s not that bad
*tell us, we’ll be fine
*mistake praise for comfort
*push us to do more
*ask us if we are “getting help”
*ask if we really need meds (if we do take them)
*say we’re looking for attention
*assume we’re stuck up of stand-offish
*force us to be social
*force us to do things that trigger us
*“face your fears” doesn’t always work
*because—remember—scared of everything
*in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
*ask “but you’re not afraid of me, right?”
It’s like saying “so you’re afraid of guns” then pulling one out “but you’re not afraid of my gun*, right?”
Emergency action procedure for panic attacks:
*don’t be condescending
*remind us that we’re not “crazy”
*sit with us
*ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
*remind us that we are breathing
*engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
*if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
*(it will be harder for us to exhale than inhale)
*(sometimes all it takes is our body to realize it can push the air back out)
*or breathe through our nose
*or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
*or have us put a hand on your chest and breath with you
*ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
*help us change it
*sometimes tactile sensations help- ice pack, hot pack, plush toy, small sips of ice water
*if sensations or proximity seem to make it worse, leave us alone, we usually know what we need and sometimes you won’t be it
*usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down
If you have an anxiety disorder:
*even if you worry that it’s not okay.
*it’s still okay. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be scared of being scared.
*you are not crazy. You are not a freak.
*anyone who says so is an ignorant ass and wrong
*you are stronger than most, living with this and trying to overcome it
There is no shame in accepting you have a disorder, this does not make you weak*
*i know there’s a person under all that armour.
*and I know you feel isolated because of it.
*i won’t make you take it off.
*but know that you are not alone.
Dying right now.
I cannot believe this got so many notes. But this is the continuation.
THIS WOMAN IS MY NEW HERO.
WHERE ARE THE SCREEN CAPS FROM HER SENDING THIS TO HIS MOM
that’s a conversation i want to witness
Anonymous said: Your breasts are lovely.
Damn straight they are, cheers.
This perfectly summarizes why I love the Simpsons and hate Family Guy.
I watched that episode with my family and I could just feel how uncomfortable everyone was. Honestly, it was a really jarring, unpleasant episode.
Homer is a terrible dad. So is Peter. But Homer’s saving grace has always been that he tries—he’s bad at it and he fucks it up a lot, but he loves his family and he wants to be better than he is.
One of my favorite Homer moments is in “Diatribe of a Mad Housewife.” Tl;dr Marge writes a steamy romance novel starring herself and Ned, and when Homer finds out, he chases down Ned and, rather than attack him, asks him to teach him how to be a better husband.
There’s some part of his stupid self that wants to do better.
I never got that impression with Peter. Instead, the family has gotten more and more abusive towards Meg. It’s really unsettling for me when I started realizing that’s what happens sometimes in abusive families. Abusers sometimes single out one child to abuse, and quite often the other family members take the abuser’s side. After all, it’s easier to side with an abuser than to run the risk of becoming the target yourself.
There’s never really a point where it seems like Peter cares at all that his shitty behavior impacts his family. It actually seems to have gotten worse over the years. He expects everyone to clean up his messes because that’s always what happens; there’s really no reason for him not to be shitty.
And it’s easy to see how Meg is affected. She doesn’t have much of a character, really, because so much her screen time is devoted to being abused. The bits of character development all seem to hinge on her being this sad, neglected person who’s trying her best but never really gets any help from anyone. Quite the opposite; there have been a lot of episodes where her family sabotages any attempts to be herself.
It can be easy to forget how awful this behavior is when the only context is the show itself (frankly, everyone on Family Guy is kind of terrible). Seeing it played against the Simpsons, who are a flawed and dysfunctional but ultimately loving family, was painful to watch.
Even lately, with Homer getting more and more stupid in order to compete with Family Guy (Seriously, the entire downturn of the Simpsons recently has been because they have to pander to Family Guy fans), you still get the sense that he actually does care when he’s coherent enough to finally realize there is a problem. Another great example is the early episode about how Lisa got her saxophone. Homer saved money for an air conditioner for months, and on the way to get it, Lisa saw the sax and wanted it. So Homer took all the money he saved, and bought that instead.
Koalas having an argument.
if you have never heard a koala noise before, here is yr chance
they sound like fuzzy bike horns
I laughed so hard I literally started crying
i wasn’t ready
Koalas are pretty much just pissed off, sleepy muppets.
It still amazes me that I talk to guys who still think they get harassed just as much as women online. Like even from people who aren’t clearly and totally gross dumbasses. It kinda makes me think that, even in the best cases, it might be hard to really understand the sheer difference in frequency. You see a woman get harassed on a game and you go “Oh well I’ve been harassed” without understanding that there is seldom a session for her where that doesn’t happen or understanding what her inbox might look like…
That is a sort of stunning degree of difference.
"The data’s in! Women were lying about online harassment!”
"Aha! We knew it!"
“Yeah, they’ve been severely underreporting how bad things are for them, turns out.”